In conversation about the topic of doing what you love, people tend to jump in with with two objections.  One is: “If only I had the money I could do what I love.” I mention that first because I am asking you to put that objection aside for now. Never let the issue of money deter you from pursuing your dreams.  The checklist will get to it—be patient.   The second more frequent objection was one I didn’t expect–”How do I know what I love?”  and the effort to answer that one requires no money whatsoever.

Let’s face it. You really can’t plan to do more of what you love, unless you become conscious about what gives you pleasure and joy and what you tend to do uniquely better than most.  And you can’t easily discern what you love, if you won’t give yourself permission to see and say what you love (no matter what the family thinks) and see and say what you are good at (no matter if you are afraid to admit it or say it out loud).  Therefore I am starting the checklist here, in perhaps an unexpected place:

1.  Permission.  Give it to yourself.  Assume that you can do more of what you love, whether or not you happen to believe it at this moment. Affirm that you do know at some level of your being what you love to do and are good at, whether or not you happen to believe it at the moment.  With permission, space opens in the mind to see things differently.  Give permission and affirmation to yourself daily.  ”I can have what I want.”  ”I’m happiest when I am….”  I’m very good at….and I’m not afraid to admit it.”  Play with this step for about a week or two.

Note:  If you have trouble with permission, look at your heritage in this area.  What were the messages from your parents?  What were their lives like?  The “shoulds” we adopt from those influencers in our lives, can actually be disgarded, refined, reworked, but only if we are conscious of the fact that they represent a “belief” we currently hold as true, rather than a construct we have adopted, which we can renew,  about how we could be in the world.

2.  Start noticing.  Write down what you notice. “When am I happiest?”  ”When am I proudest of my work?”  ”During what part of the day’s activities or weekend activities am I most engaged?”  ”To what activities, ideas, experiences, am I most drawn?”  Start taking seriously what you notice.  Allow any feelings of embarrassment to come and go. Step into what you’ve discovered.  Allow it.  Enjoy it.   You  may feel some tension.  One college student who did this exercise reported:  ”I noticed that what I’m doing at college is nowhere on the list of what I love.”   Good information.  Maybe a choice point.  Maybe time for a coach, guide, or mentor.  Allow what you see.    And then…

3.  Ask others.  Actually move through your fears and ask others to say what they value about your presence, your work, your contributions.  Ask your parents or other elder/mentors in your life.  In the process of focusing on parents, another student started noticing how they did what they loved, and how they effectively combined what they did for money and what they did for fun .  Useful conversations can occur about choices.  And then…

4.  Ask yourself a related question.  ”What do I want?”   Nor is money the answer at this stage in the game. “What is the kind of life I would most enjoy living and giving?”   Now you are starting to gather the information about you.

5. Get some inspiration. Talk to folks who have lives they love.  Interview or read about those who dared to set off on a path that matched their needs, goals, interests and passions, even if they weren’t exactly sure where they were going at the time. You don’t have to follow them, you only need to know that it is possible.  Read Tim Ferriss’s The Four Hour Work Week, his rather unbelieveable, extreme, and very doable, guide to how he set up life  to be able to do what he loves and support himself in the process. In addition, check out any topic on the internet and enjoy reading about those who are teaching, writing, selling just about any aspect of whatever they are passionate about.

I’ll leave it there for now— with you taking time for yourself, gathering information for several weeks, and having fun in the process.  I’ll be back soon to continue with the checklist.  Please be in touch. If you enjoyed this, do sign my guestbook, so I know you are out there and interested.  I respect your email privacy.