For some folks, thinking about doing what they love is fraught with confusion and uncertainty. What DO I love?  is one of the questions which is hard to answer.  What AM I really good at? is another.  From a coach colleague, Karen Ribeiro,  I got some wonderful insight about a way to get clues for both of those questions––at least if you have ever been a parent.

Karen, a parent herself, notes that parents tend to be all purpose cooks and bottle washers. It’s part of the deal of raising children.    No surprise to you parents who are reading this.  However, you may never sufficiently have put names to the variety of roles you play, nor thought about whether you had a real gift for them or not.

The skills and talents required in that role have likely included such things as academic or career coach and mediator or peacekeeper.   Let’s not forget human resource manager,  party and vacation planner,  cook, baker, dietician or nutritionist, entertainer.  And more, banker or accountant, athletic coach, storyteller, spiritual advisor, home manager, personal shopper and the list goes on.

What a wonderful point of reflection when reviewing both the accomplishments of your life and its pleasures.  What a resource the parental role offers as you reflect about what you were good at, what you liked, and what you might want to do more of in the world.

Yes, parenting is a job without salary.  The payments for parenting are in the pleasures.  Enjoy mining this resource of memories for everything that comes along with the choice to be a parent. Remind yourself of the serendipitous requirements you were able fulfill with some ease. Note the relevance of the gifts and experiences of those roles for the choices (how to do and be)  that face you right now.

What did you discover?

Today, January 24th, is my birthday. I’m 72.  And I’m reflecting. And feeling good. The book, the website of which you are visiting, was published on my birthday exactly 2 years ago.  It has been a wonderful journey playing with and sharing these ideas––at a pace my health and energy accommodates.  Just last week, I gave a 2- hour program to a group of people exploring their lives through this lens of these questions.

• What do I love?
• What am I good at?
• How can I engage my courage to claim it, own it, and offer it to the world?

I felt affirmed and proud when one of the participants used the word “nourishing”  to describe the session. It reminded me of Scottish theologian William Barclay’s  thought which has been resonating deeply with me of late:

“There are two great days in a person’s life––the day we are born and the day we discover why.”

I am not sure that the experience of actually knowing why we are here and what we are meant to be doing is limited to just one day.  But that’s certainly how I felt at that program.  And that’s how I feel whenever I share the ideas in the book, as a coach or presenter, with those who seem to soak them up like sponges and put them to use in their lives.

When you are doing what you love, and it matters to another, it is the best feeling in the world. I wish it for everyone.  Apparently, that’s why I’m here!

Check out the book!

I woke up this morning feeling refreshed and clear, and with a resolution that expressed itself from deep in my bones.  In 2012, I want to Be Me, and Do Me.  I am the best resource I have. It is my personality, even my quirks, my likes and dislikes, gifts, talents and skills that I want to use and enjoy throughout my life.   And I want to pass this resolution on to you for your consideration.

Now, what on earth prompted the surfacing of this particular idea on this first day of 2012?

Last night, I was enjoying my typical New Year’s Eve hibernation–– honoring in my own way the potency of the annual transition.  And I got reacquainted with Barbara Sher.  Years ago, at 40, I was fascinated with, and utilized considerably,  her wonderful book Wishcraft, originally published in 1979.  My own career choices then shifted, and I lost track of this wonderful thinker and author.  But last night, she entered my life once again via her 2006 book, Refuse to Choose!  Use all of your Interests, Passions and Hobbies to Create the Life and Career of your Dreams.

In it, she identifies a subset of the population she calls “scanners”  who deeply wish to find a passion and create a career out of it, but who have so many passions, they get stuck with the choosing.  They get stuck with the starting and they get stuck with the finishing, as boredom sets in and their interests shift.  And then they dump on themselves. After all, aren’t most people supposed to choose one thing they really love and go for it?  That seems to be prevailing wisdom.  Barbara sees it differently.

These “scanners”, and she includes herself as one,  are smart, talented, dedicated, committed, and intense about pursuing all the things that intrigue them.  Perhaps you are one of those people.  In her book, Sher acknowledges that you who may be “scanners’ are different and gives you complete permission to be so.  She presents a few tools to manage yourself in the process, and encourages you not to accept society’s judgments of yourself as “flake” or “dilettante”.  Being yourself as a person with a never ending list of legitimate passions can work well, with a good dose of self understanding, acceptance and special strategies.

Barbara Sher paints a picture and provides a perspective and management tools that I hadn’t fully grasped in my own “why not do what you love” world, and I am delighted to a) see it more clearly for myself, b) be able to recognize and honor the characteristics in those I will meet, and c)  be able to recommend the strategies to those readers who are finding themselves discouraged with their inability to choose.

If you are one who finds yourself being judged badly for the downside that accompanies having a breadth of interests and talents, or, if you get bored easily and need to move on to new challenges, or, if you have become discouraged with your own process, there is hope. And there is a strategy available just for you.   According to Barbara Sher, you can have it all.

What a great way to start off 2012, with a commitment to being who you are and doing what you love, with a little more awareness of how you might actually do more of it than you thought you could.  Hurrah for just another uniqueness.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!

Thanks to a student in one of my Why Not Do What You Love classes, I was introduced to an online production of “Failure Club. ” In a wonderfully counter intuitive way, this series of videos tracks the real experiences of a group of New Yorkers who had dreams, who became willing to pursue those dreams, during a year of committed club membership. Because failure was no longer a risk, any and all attempts to get working on a personal dream are obviously encouraged, whether they are successful or not.    For members of the Failure Club, failure is seen as likely, particularly when tackling something new, something scary, something you are invested in.  Failure is to be applauded because you did something. If you don’t encounter failure, you probably didn’t shoot high enough or think big enough.   Failure is only another stepping stone to learning from your mistakes, continuing to engage, have fun,  try things out with the support of group members, each of whom is doing the same thing. In the Failure Club, one of the major stoppers to doing something you’ve always wanted to do, that being fear of failure, is completely obliterated by design.

Whatever framing it takes to enable us to get moving to do more of what we love, is ok by me. Congratulations to the founders of the Failure Club for their unique form of “inspiration” and support.  Check it out.

I love that word. Say it slowly and let it seep into your soul.  The dictionaries offer up some definitions: To discriminate, to distinguish, to perceive by sight or some other sense or by the intellect; see, recognize, or apprehend.  “Discern” brings to mind a deep thoughtfulness, a willingness to sort and separate, in our case, to develop a deep awareness what one might want and what one might not want.

My 23-year old friend Eliza graduated from college in May.  In one of our recent deep conversations, we summed up her time since college as that of recuperating, resting, seeing old friends, and––– well “discerning” –––what will be next.  The usual challenge for any college graduate is twofold: “How will I find a job?” and  “What do I really want to do?”

Eliza has been taking her time, thanks to grandparent graduation gifts and a welcoming (free) bed at home.  After 5 months, she’s now thinking about how to gain the financial wherewithall to maintain her organic search for a job that fits her needs and requirements. Her ultimate goal is actually to do what she loves– and that’s not because she lives with author of the book of that title.  She just has the common sense view that she wants to be happy and wants to contribute what makes her happy.  But what is that?  And what are her requirements? Read the rest of this entry »

It was that title question of a 2009 book by Jay Niblick that caught my attention, so much so that  I’ll likely be sharing nuggets from it in future posts.  Such an important question.  Based on an equally important assumption that  we, every one of us, have genius in us!   I totally agree.

My book, the blog site of which you are visiting, promotes that premise, among others. Why Not Do What You Love exists to illustrate and encourage acceptance of three beliefs to which I am committed, and hope that you, too, will accept them as a starting place for your own path to being “a genius” in action.

1. First, everyone, and I do mean everyone, has gifts. Jay Niblick happens to call it “genius”.
2. Second, we are more satisfied and fulfilled when we use those gifts, our genius, in our volunteer or paid work.  It is a contribution to ourselves and to those around us.
3. Third, any of our gifts has the possibility of magnetizing an income stream, with a little bit of commitment, persistence and courage.

The difficulty for so many folks with whom I talk, even those coming to the end of long and successful careers, is that they are not only confused and uncertain about accepting that they contain this “genius”, they have difficulty discerning how to name the very strengths at which they super excel, so as to be more conscious in crafting their lives around them.

I must own up to that difficulty myself.  Although I can easily see the gifts of others, it has not always been easy to see my own.  Part of the problem is that the things I am best at are not necessarily named in any career manual. Another part of the problem is that the things I am best at are so much a part of me that I either don’t see them, or I just take them for granted.  I and most others like me,  do not deem them worthy of note.  ”It’s easy for me,” we might say, “doesn’t every one do that?”  Well, that particular trait is NOT necessarily easy for others, and therefore they probably don’t do it–at least not as well as we do.  Thus, it takes a bit of confidence and courage to look at your life afresh and to creatively express in words, “how you do you” in ways that illuminates your “genius.”

Recently, a veil of confusion has lifted for me on this issue and I’m going to public my list–-here and now.  I’ve been clear about several of my strengths for a long time, and yet there are others which I am finally ready to acknowledge.  Each has been enthusiastically confirmed by people who know me, so I’m not operating totally in the dark here.  For example:

• I’m good at believing in others, more than they believe in themselves.
• I’m good at helping people discover the hidden elements of how they get in their own way, and inviting them to do something about it. 
• I’m good at clearly seeing the out-of-box possibilities and intuitively connecting dots.
• I’m particularly able to receive,  honor, and guide those “intuitives” and pioneers who have always thought differently about things and who are trying to create a path for themselves.  Read the rest of this entry »

I set my Google Alert to “do what you love.”  Thus, I get weekly notes from my internet scanner about the articles and blogs on the topic that most intrigues me–– people finding ways to do what they love.  The books, blogs and stores ultimately offer models and guidance to others, and I would likely find them no other way.  Jonathon Fields came to my attention in today’s alert.  His book, Career Renegade, not only documents his journey from high-powered lawyering to creating a lifestyle more in tune with what he wanted to be doing for himself and his family, and, he offers the helpful resources he discovers along the way. I bought it, read it, marked it up and plan to review the pages I highlighted for my own business tweaking.  And then I realized he’s got a website and a blog, too, which I intend to explore.  One can subscribe to his musings, which I find, on my first peek, are very similar to my own.  What a wonderful gift to find an online “friend,” 30 years my junior, whom I may never meet, from whom I can learn.

While Why Not? is more of a prompt for reflection about life and work and passion and purpose, Jonathon’s book gets into the how-to of “making a great living.”  How do you turn your perhaps unique passion into a financially viable enterprise?  How do you do what you will do forever and always, and earn money from it?  How do you create a market for your special gift, however seemingly quirky?  His book is a great companion to mine (Why Not Do What You Love?). I enthusiastically recommend it and plan to carry both around with me as useful, and I would say essential, resources for the serious seeker of a fulfilling life.

Obviously no book serves all needs (just read his 62 Amazon reviews.), or gives all the details to satisfy each seeker’s quest to get from here to there.  That journey, ultimately, has to be our own. But each book, including the many I continue to encounter and will undoubtedly recommend in future posts,  will have necessary nuggets, relevant to your individual quest. Jonathon, in the context of his own story and those of his friends, points to the multitudinous resources that can help with the internet marketing of your business,  of which ANYONE, hoping to create a profitable product or service, must be aware.

Enjoy…

This week  at the gym, I had a conversation with Sandy Ward, the current president of the Funeral Consumers Alliance of Western Massachusetts.  The mission of the organization is to promote and protect a consumer’s right to choose meaningful , dignified, and affordable final arrangements.  She is looking to recruit more board members.  One problem is that people are busy. Those who are now thinking about this issue, are up in years.   This mission is not at the top of younger people’s radar screens, although with boomers aging, that may change.  Finally, this organization is not one of those sexy ones that excites people to join.  Preparing for death, despite the emerging interests in memoir and legacy,  is still a topic most people avoid.

Our conversation meandered and we both started wondering about the number of people whose “gifts” might be just lying in wait to be called upon if they were approached in the right way. My theory being that  our “gifts” are what we do effortlessly; “gifts” are things we like to do…and if we know specifically how they are needed…how might that change the equation?  If only “the gift” could be matched with the need, maybe it would be easier to gather the troops who could help the organization expand its outreach and fulfill its mission for consumers–who are ultimately every one of us.

For instance…

The FCA could use people who love to research, gather, and share information in order to let folks know about their choices and why they need to make them earlier than later.

The FCA can use those who love to protect our environment who might also care about the emerging interest in “green burials” which help to sustain our earth.

The FCA can use people who are obsessive about consumer rights, who might also be eager gather information about predatory practices in an industry dealing with folks in their most vulnerable times of grief and confusion.

The FCA can use those who love to write, to create articles and letters, press releases and educational brochures.

The FCA  can use those who are enjoy getting people talking about tough topics who might be a part of outreach teams to retirement facilities and senior centers.

This organization can use….and the list may go on.

Yes, your organization has needs. And so does every group with a task and a mission.  For the organization, the question may be: “How are you framing your needs in a way that entices people to contribute their gifts (what they do easily and well) to make a difference in the world?”

For the individual, the potential volunteer, the person seeking to get out there in the world with their talents, the person seeking to build their resume, the questions might be:  ”How well do you understand and articulate what you love to do?  How specifically can you communicate what you’d like to offer so that you’ll have the joy of being at your best and making a difference, too?”

Here are three suggestions:

• If you want to do what you love, it helps to know what you love.
• If you want to do what you love, it helps to probe for the possibilities and needs that exist in organizations and groups that may not yet have been clearly articulated.  You may have to show up with your “offer”.
• If you want to do what you love,  please remember that the notion of “Matching gifts” is not just about money.

This quote appeared in my mailbox this morning and struck me like a bolt of lightning.

And I look back to the first 5 years after my diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis, I’m aware that I was fighting so very hard to “get well” and retain the possibility of my anticipated retirement.  Life long I had expected to be able to dance and play tennis well into my 80s, following the model of my Mom.  Now, after 8 years more, I look back and realize that I have slowly been letting go of the life I had planned for myself. Without regrets.  At the same slow pace, I have been able to begin to recraft and find joy in the life that is mine now.

There is hope for the slow learners.

Last night, I took time to go exploring–with people– at a local retirement village.  I want to continue doing what I love, despite current mobility issues, and I want to be around people who are also still in love with life’s journey. So how to figure out what “new home” will best meet my needs? As a fairly strong introvert, moving out and talking to folks at party type affairs is not what I usually do.

I had a fabulous time!

I really should give myself the “people prescription” more often and jump into the fray.  Being with older folks, even older than I, still vibrant and loving their lives, was a real “boost.”  I invite all who are on the “do what you love” journey. “Don’t be shy.” No matter your age, talk to folks who seem to have figured things out, who have made significant changes successfully, who continue to be curious and to learn.  The next steps are not always found in the books, nor even in the richness of your own thinking, nor in guidance of the teacher in front of the class.  The unexpected serendipity of a model, a remark, an idea, an experience, a reference from another person, can not only forward your journey, but expand your thinking about new possibilities.

Yes, I took time to move out of my comfort zone and go to a big party. Not only do I want to keep doing what I love, I want to be among those who are on the same path.  Check out my report!