Posts Tagged ‘do what you love’

I woke up this morning feeling refreshed and clear, and with a resolution that expressed itself from deep in my bones.  In 2012, I want to Be Me, and Do Me.  I am the best resource I have. It is my personality, even my quirks, my likes and dislikes, gifts, talents and skills that I want to use and enjoy throughout my life.   And I want to pass this resolution on to you for your consideration.

Now, what on earth prompted the surfacing of this particular idea on this first day of 2012?

Last night, I was enjoying my typical New Year’s Eve hibernation–– honoring in my own way the potency of the annual transition.  And I got reacquainted with Barbara Sher.  Years ago, at 40, I was fascinated with, and utilized considerably,  her wonderful book Wishcraft, originally published in 1979.  My own career choices then shifted, and I lost track of this wonderful thinker and author.  But last night, she entered my life once again via her 2006 book, Refuse to Choose!  Use all of your Interests, Passions and Hobbies to Create the Life and Career of your Dreams.

In it, she identifies a subset of the population she calls “scanners”  who deeply wish to find a passion and create a career out of it, but who have so many passions, they get stuck with the choosing.  They get stuck with the starting and they get stuck with the finishing, as boredom sets in and their interests shift.  And then they dump on themselves. After all, aren’t most people supposed to choose one thing they really love and go for it?  That seems to be prevailing wisdom.  Barbara sees it differently.

These “scanners”, and she includes herself as one,  are smart, talented, dedicated, committed, and intense about pursuing all the things that intrigue them.  Perhaps you are one of those people.  In her book, Sher acknowledges that you who may be “scanners’ are different and gives you complete permission to be so.  She presents a few tools to manage yourself in the process, and encourages you not to accept society’s judgments of yourself as “flake” or “dilettante”.  Being yourself as a person with a never ending list of legitimate passions can work well, with a good dose of self understanding, acceptance and special strategies.

Barbara Sher paints a picture and provides a perspective and management tools that I hadn’t fully grasped in my own “why not do what you love” world, and I am delighted to a) see it more clearly for myself, b) be able to recognize and honor the characteristics in those I will meet, and c)  be able to recommend the strategies to those readers who are finding themselves discouraged with their inability to choose.

If you are one who finds yourself being judged badly for the downside that accompanies having a breadth of interests and talents, or, if you get bored easily and need to move on to new challenges, or, if you have become discouraged with your own process, there is hope. And there is a strategy available just for you.   According to Barbara Sher, you can have it all.

What a great way to start off 2012, with a commitment to being who you are and doing what you love, with a little more awareness of how you might actually do more of it than you thought you could.  Hurrah for just another uniqueness.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!

This quote appeared in my mailbox this morning and struck me like a bolt of lightning.

And I look back to the first 5 years after my diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis, I’m aware that I was fighting so very hard to “get well” and retain the possibility of my anticipated retirement.  Life long I had expected to be able to dance and play tennis well into my 80s, following the model of my Mom.  Now, after 8 years more, I look back and realize that I have slowly been letting go of the life I had planned for myself. Without regrets.  At the same slow pace, I have been able to begin to recraft and find joy in the life that is mine now.

There is hope for the slow learners.

Last night, I took time to go exploring–with people– at a local retirement village.  I want to continue doing what I love, despite current mobility issues, and I want to be around people who are also still in love with life’s journey. So how to figure out what “new home” will best meet my needs? As a fairly strong introvert, moving out and talking to folks at party type affairs is not what I usually do.

I had a fabulous time!

I really should give myself the “people prescription” more often and jump into the fray.  Being with older folks, even older than I, still vibrant and loving their lives, was a real “boost.”  I invite all who are on the “do what you love” journey. “Don’t be shy.” No matter your age, talk to folks who seem to have figured things out, who have made significant changes successfully, who continue to be curious and to learn.  The next steps are not always found in the books, nor even in the richness of your own thinking, nor in guidance of the teacher in front of the class.  The unexpected serendipity of a model, a remark, an idea, an experience, a reference from another person, can not only forward your journey, but expand your thinking about new possibilities.

Yes, I took time to move out of my comfort zone and go to a big party. Not only do I want to keep doing what I love, I want to be among those who are on the same path.  Check out my report!

A few days ago, some people I  had not previously met came to visit my housemate. They saw Why Not? sitting on the desk. Immediately grabbing the copy, the gentleman said, “This is exactly what I have been looking for.  And you’ve got these all over the house!   How could this be?”  We had a short exchange about how he was led to our home that day, and the way that questions deeply held in psyche seem to have a way of getting answered in the process of wandering around–– as long as one pays attention.  He left later,  having purchased the book and vowing to use it as his next prompt for questions and answers.

Taking time to pose the questions that are next for you to answer in life can take the form of worrying, or frantic searching, or clarifying and honoring your own deep questions. My practice recommends the latter. Deeply providing space for your own questions creates a  productive energetic that is actually capable of attracting answers––in often unanticipated ways, as experienced by the serendipitous guest who showed up at my home. Take time for yourself. Take time to honor your needs. Take time to appreciate the particular stage of life you are leaving and the one you are entering. Perhaps in solitude. Perhaps with a very good friend.  Perhaps even with the Why Not? book, which is a very gentle companion designed to prompt your reflection.

Buy it HERE, let it be your guide,  and encourage your 50-something friends to stop by.

What do you do when you get discouraged?  Or mildly depressed? Or seem to lose energy and desire for the things you have always done easily?  When you find yourself avoiding easy next step tasks?  I’ve just been through a period like that. And while I am definitely no doctor nor therapist, I believe even the healthy high performers  go into a “dip” or a “funk” on occasion.  What to do?   The serendipity all of this was the fact that my “dip” coincided with that of a friend.  Which can be wonderfully illuminating as you begin to focus more attention on the reality of it  and strategize how to dance through it.

Here are a few thoughts for any who might find themselves in that situation:

1A.  What’s going on?  What’s the reason I don’t want to do x, y, z?  Make a huge list, include everything that pops into your mind. Let them  percolate.  Making the list lets your body know, that you really do seek an answer and one will eventually emerge as resonating with truth.  My friend and I, hard working types, usually don’t stop to ask what’s going on and we try to power through.  Yet, finding the real energy stopper, allows you to deal with the real issue, which often, once identified, only takes moments, and provides incredible relief.

1B.  Deal with the possibility of that imagined undesireable result. For her, she was fearful that doing her list of tasks would result in a situation that she didn’t want.  Good reason!  That allows her to ponder how to alleviate what she was worried about,  anticipate the undesireable and make preparations to handle it.  All of a sudden, her list became doable, even with some enthusiasm.

2. Another strategy is to check yourself out medically or with an alternative practitioner.  In my particular case, I found that I was missing something in my brain chemistry, and a few proscribed supplements were able to right my customary emotional balance rather quickly.

3. A third strategy is to really inquire about, and honor, what else  is going on in your life.  In my friend’s case, a colleague had recently received a serious diagnosis, her partner’s new boss was making things difficult and painful at work as opposed to the many joyful years he had enjoyed at the office, her mom had just passed, and many of her own work contracts (income) had been put on hold due to mergers occurring in client organizations.  Let’s be honest.  Through no fault of her own, she was suffering a huge number of losses, with the attendant need to grieve and pick up the pieces of her life.  This happens to all of us…not usually all at once…but it happens.  To think there is no impact on one’s energy is simply ignoring the reality of being human. Love yourself through this.  Give yourself space and permission to do less. Deal actively with what you have lost in terms of acknowledgment and grief.

4.  A fourth strategy is to seek help.  Actually when we are in the midst of stuff, it’s hard to see what is going on. Often an objective outsider  in a session or two, can help you make sense of what’s going on right now.  That knowledge is usually a tremendous relief.

Certainly this list is not exhaustive.  Many, many more ideas can be found on Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project website and blog, talking with friends, and spending time in conversation with yourself.  I encourage you to explore the strategies that exist, and invent your own. Doing what you love, is not all wine and roses, and it is worth moving beyond whatever blocks and barriers appear.  Discouragement is part of life.  Dance with it and see if the music changes.

” ‘It’s impossible’, said Pride.  ’It’s risky’, said Experience.  ’It’s pointless’, said Reason. ‘Give it a try’, whispered the Heart’. ”  ~Unknown

Sometimes something comes to you to which nothing needs to be added. In this case this quote appeared in my inbox, from a friend, who found it on Facebook, and posted it to his blog.  Thank you, Tom.  I’m listening, and invite any readers struggling whether to do more of what they love, to do so also.

I was inspired recently by a young man (23) who was sharing with me his career choices and the conversation migrated into the career choices of his family members.  Being very hands-on mechanically gifted, he himself  chose the family business–plumbing, but he also certified himself in other trades.  His father’s passion was art (his hobby taking apart cars and and putting them back together), but he engaged the mechanical gifts of his avocation  in order to support the family and started a plumbing business upon marriage. (According to the son, his father is the best plumber he ever worked with and before joining the business, he worked with many.)  His mother is an ice hockey fanatic still playing at 52, competing and coaching as an avocation, and she sparked and nurtured the love of hockey in all her children.   “We’re all so different,” said Eric. His younger  brother (21) is a “genius in computers, creating websites for stars in the music industry, and matters of the mind–his passions being opera and philosophy, but he doesn’t know how to check his tires for air. We both disappointed our parents by not choosing college.”

Another younger brother  (18) is into music–but a different kind than what we are most familiar with.  ”I personally don’t get it,”  he added.

An older sister is an esthetician, who is now planning to go  to  school for funeral work.  I forget what the other sister has chosen.

What struck me was that without naming themselves as such, they probably qualify as a “do what you love family”. Everyone doing something different. Inspired and united by their parent’s choices, these independent young people are equally supported in following their own paths, in some cases, rather quirky paths.

I suggest in the Why Not book (Chapter 8) that one’s heritage and models in life probably influence our career path choices more than we are aware, for good or for ill.  And that it would be good to take a look at your influences.  Given this just encountered  powerful example of a supportive environment in which to grow up, I am compelled to reinforce my suggestion for those wanting to make changes to really review the influences of their past.

Is your heritage for doing what you love one that supports exercising courage, heart, risk, experimentation?

Or, is your heritage one that was dominated by fear, necessity for security, or punishment for straying from the parental advice?

Any heritage can be unthinkingly followed, unthinkingly rebelled against, or thoughtfully reviewed and utilized to illuminate your present behaviors in relation to opportunities .  If your heritage is less supportive of your dreams, how can you find the support you need for the ideas you have?  Or, how can you borrow someone else’s model and use it for your own?

Today, I took time to look at an online subscription I had requested from Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project.  The daily missives had been filling my mailbox for months, and I had filed them. I took the time to read the most recent, which, like all the others, is full of many links to past blogs, interesting ideas, short and wise videos she has created like, The Secrets to Adulthood. She clearly has fun collecting and creating what makes life work and what makes her happy, for the inspiration of the rest of us. I enjoyed meandering and wandering, selecting link after link until I got to one of her favorite bloggers,  a dental practice manager.  I initially thought:  “This is an unexpected link!”

But what struck me about this blogger is how she has seemed to combine, in an unusual way, her technical skill in dental hygiene, her obvious passion for leadership and team building, and her apparent love of writing.  She’s a model for members of our “why not? crowd” who are often stymied by the question,  “I like to do  x, y, and z.  How can I possibly make a meaningful living from them?

Well, she apparently figured it out.  Dental hygiene, which would have been enough for many as “the career”, was for her only “the context.” In this context she could exercise her love of creating a customer-oriented office culture in which everyone could grow and improve and appreciate the contributions of others, as well as her interests in sharing her experiences with the wider world.

Kudos to her!  And thanks for the inspiration it gives to the rest of us to identify, honor, experiment with, and exercise, our unique combinations of skills, interests and passions in a “context” of our choosing.  The possibilities, therefore,  are endless.

P.S. Don’t forget to stop and “take time” to wander a bit.  You might be surprised at what you find!

I enjoy other people’s takes on the issue of doing what you love.  My google alert feature captures what is written by others and occasionally a title will catch my attention.  A thoughtful post by Dorie Clark in the Harvard Business Review suggests that maybe it’s preferable to do what you like, rather than what you love, particularly if you are not so good at what you think you love. She buttresses her opinion with several good reasons.

I certainly wouldn’t dispute her line of reasoning. There are those who happen to be very good at what they love, and there are those that are less skilled at what they think they enjoy doing.  Good to notice. A good mentor, and Dorie seems to be a thoughtful one, will help a passionate employee distinguish whether they simply love the “context” to which they have gravitated, or really have the skills required to perform brilliantly in that context.  For me, it’s always good to contemplate the nuances of good choice-making in this arena. If it’s not “love”, let it be “like”.  I’ll never argue the point.  I’ll only underscore the need to be conscious about what you are doing and whether it is truly serving you and those others around you.

Today, on Easter, is a good day to think about rebirth–even to resurrect  one’s dreams–even to experience a resurgence of hope and possibility .

And every so often, Seth Godin‘s encouraging words aid in that process!  I reprint part of his blog to which I subscribe and send you to the full version.

His point:  These are difficult, and most importantly, different times.  Yet, those who care to do what they love, fulfill a need, and make a difference, have more opportunity than ever before.  Here’s Seth:

“Every individual, self-employed or with a boss, is now more in charge of her destiny than ever before. The notion of a company town or a stagnant industry with little choice is fading fast.

Right before your eyes, a fundamentally different economy, with different players and different ways to add value is being built. What used to be an essential asset (for a person or for a company) is worth far less, while new attributes are both scarce and valuable.

Are there dislocations? There’s no doubt about it. Pain and uncertainty and risk, for sure.

The opportunity, though, is the biggest of our generation (or the last one, for that matter). The opportunity is there for anyone (with or without a job) smart enough to take it–to develop a best in class skill, to tell a story, to spread the word, to be in demand, to satisfy real needs, to run from the mediocre middle and to change everything.

¡Note! Like all revolutions, this is an opportunity, not a solution, not a guarantee. It’s an opportunity to poke and experiment and fail and discover dead ends on the way to making a difference. The old economy offered a guarantee–time plus education plus obedience = stability. The new one, not so much. The new one offers a chance for you to take a chance and make an impact.”